little comforts


Date: 20th February 2011

Music: Superman, Joe Brooks.

Lyn is: contemplative.

JA asked me what comforts. That got me thinking about the specifics details as to what I meant when I wrote that. Of course I had a general feeling, but what exactly I was referring to…?

Comfort, to me, is a feeling of ease, peace, security, and warmth in your soul. It’s when you can have that little moment of quiet and tranquil, even if the world may be crumbling around you. I never said comfort was always perfect, that all has to be right in order for there to be comfort. No, comfort can be bittersweet. Everything around and sometimes even in you can be in turmoil and utter chaos, but there can still be a tiny peephole, a crevice, a little hole for you to take shelter in, if only for the moment- an escape for the moment, if I may liken it to that.

I’m not prone to home-sickness. No, not really. I get a tad bit emotional at farewells and may be a little off-colour during the week prior to my departure, but that’s just because I hate goodbyes. Or rather, I don’t know how to deal with them. But when I’m already away and know that there’s so much that needs to be done, so many opportunities to seize, so much potential for something wonderful, so many parts of His plans that I can live out, though away from home, I’m as happy as ever.

But, admittedly, it’s difficult in the beginning, when I feel like I’ve left so much of my life, the things, people, that make me who I am. At home, I know I’ve always been, and always will be, can always be, who I really am. It’s the security that I know I’m accepted, loved even, despite all my flaws and short-comings. And with that, it’s all good, come what may. So, to me, home is all kinds of comfort.

So, at this very moment, my little comforts are things that remind me of home – thoughtful texts, heartfelt notes and cards, my parents’ paranoid equipment (like a torchlight for my room), the awfully-heavy textbooks we were so afraid would blow my luggage-weight, even a new outfit that I remember having to debate with my brother for ages, on whether or not to buy it. It’s little things, memories, gestures, that remind me that, being so far from the place I call my home, that tell, remind, and comfort me that I’m not forgotten, abandoned, nor replaced.

They remind me that I’m loved. =)

…But I know Your comfort is sovereign and all-encompassing. So, no drama, no tears. <3
Smiles, laughs, and a little nostalgia.

~ lyn.

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~ by phoenixlyn on February 20, 2011.

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